I know the song lyrics are ‘so this is Christmas, and what have you done’ but I think it works feel for new years ;).
Wether you are a full on New Years enthusiast or someone who believes we should set goals throughout the year and NYE is just another night I still would argue that this time of year definitely encourages us to reflect on the year that has passed, this reflection then spurs on reviewing lessons learnt, memories made, achievements, not-so-sucessful moments, highs, lows and what we may wish to do for our personal development and to tweak our standard of living in the coming year. If you don’t agree and are perfectly content with your life how it is or think new years is a load of rubbish then I fully respect that school of thought. I too believe that you don’t need a new year to make a change however I do feel there is something slightly magical about this time of year.
2013/2014 have been some of my toughest years yet but this year I have had many wonderful times too.
Highlights have to be: My trip to L.A, The Shine Marathon, Miss Galaxy Universe, becoming a POUND pro, teaching at Pineapple more regularly, All the fitness conventions, presenting last minute at Fitcamps, presenting at Champneys, Dublin for my birthday, teaching at the brand new Gymbox on opening night, being studio and operations manager, learning new skills, working with a great team, leaving the role of studio and operations manager, Fuerteventura, all the laughs with my buddies, climbing table mountain, Free VIP ticket Capital FMs Jingle bell ball, Boulders Beach, Friends who have had new babies and watching their older babies grow, coffees, nights out, Matilda the musical, The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nigh-time, all the other amazing pieces of theatre I have watched, Seeing my boyfriend in War Horse, Having my class concept on the Gymbox timetable, watching my loved ones achieve great things …
I am very proud of these achievements. My memory is awful (I mean truly ‘I can’t remember if Snape is good or bad’ awful!) and sometimes I really struggle to remember all the cool things I’ve done or moments of inspiration or achievements. I saw something on Facebook and I think it’s a GREAT idea. Throughout the year, if something good happens or you go somewhere cool or whatever, write that thing on a scrap of paper and put it in a jar.Let the jar build up and then at the end of the year empty it and look back on all the things you’ve done, ideas you’ve had and other significant noted moments. Besides the obvious great aspects of this idea I think it’s so quick and simple that it is definitely realistic to think that this can be maintained all year. Unlike a diary entry or something similar a scribble on a scrap of paper takes seconds. I don’t know about you but I’m going to get a jar and I can’t wait to see what is inside at the end of 2015!
Also 2014 has had equally rough times …
It has been my first full year as an orphan and also saw the death of my last remaining grandparent, my beautiful grandmother Nancy. My boyfriend has been touring the UK, Ireland and more recently South Africa at times it has been even impossible to have a 5 minute conversation with him for days. I experienced my mothers birthday and the first anniversary of her death totally alone in London. On top of that I was faced with a stressful £8,000.00 bill and a lot of questions I needed a parent, my parent, to answer. Not only was my emotional support missing my financial security and safety was massively threatened. I am not explaining this for sympathy but to highlight what I learnt.
In her book ‘The Mind Makeover’ Sharron Lowe explains that humans have great results in moments of inspiration and moments of desperation. I love this and totally agree. As I sat in the bath alone in my London home desperate for a friend or shoulder to cry on I cracked (I blogged about it briefly previously). My moms birthday and anniversary of her death are weeks apart and I didn’t realise how much it would get to me. Now, I know people can be surrounded by people and feel alone which is devastating but I didn’t even have that option. No one was around for even a bit of chit chat and a cuppa and I would have welcomed the choice of feeling alone with company then being option-less. This was my moment of desperation. And what did I learn?
I learnt to be strong. alone. I learnt that sometimes you just don’t have anyone to pick you up and you have to do it yourself and you CAN do it yourself. I could of sat in that bath, crying and turning more and more prune like waiting for someone to notice, or come home, or care and pick me up and wrap me in a blanket, make me a cuppa and tell me that everything will be okay but that wasn’t going to happen. When you are responsible for looking after yourself, which many of you reading this know, if you stop your world stops and no one will spin it again for you! If you haven’t yet learnt that then you are one of the lucky ones with people nurturing you – cherish them and hold that bliss close to your heart. Don’t get me wrong I have a handful of friends I know would look after me, I have an amazing brother and sister-in-law and I have a loving boyfriend who cares a great deal and his supportive family – I am very lucky. But people have their own families and responsibilities. Parents and Grandparents too to a degree, I believe, have some innate, loving responsibility and sense of ownership for the people they bring on to this earth and so are this invisible support and back up that always carries us as long as they are in our life. I think there comes a time when we all realise we are the master of our own universe and ultimately TOTALLY responsible for ourselves. Friends and family being that lovely cherry on the cake when we need them – and obviously for lovely fun times too.
At my moms funeral someone said to me “When your mom dies it feels like you’ve been unplugged, but the thing is, you never realised you were plugged in” – I guess this year I really learnt what that meant and how to survive without being “plugged in”. I write this in the hope that people can relate to my story and that that sense of familiarity provides some sort of camaraderie and comfort to anyone who feels like that.
I have learnt a lot, grown a lot and I do not regret one moment of the past year and all I can hope for is to not have any regrets in the years co come!!! I am fully aware that some people would LOVE to have my bad days that’s why asking for sympathy makes me cringe but all challenges are relative and important. We can learn from everything and although not all days are good, and although some days it reeeeally doesn’t feel like it I believe there is something good in every day.
So, after all this reflecting what are your new years resolutions???
Mine is to as ‘why?’ and ‘what’ more and not take things for granted. I often just accept things for example ‘why is the web addresses in south africa .co.za NOT .co.sa??? Why when we are sad do we have tears??? What are some of the theories behind the wonders of the world??? You get the idea.
My second resolution is to talk to myself how I would talk to others and change all my ‘I can’ts’ to ‘I cans’ even if it is just ‘I can try’. I know I am mentally strong if I see myself as having no alternative but sometimes when faced with other options I doubt myself and this is definitely something I’d like to work on.
I wish you all a healthy and happy new year and even if it’s not I wish you all the best new years you can have in the situations you face. Whether 2015 is ‘your year’ or full of disappointments learn from it and grow and remember you CAN pick yourself up and sometimes you just have to. Rely on yourself tell yourself you can. Lets go get our jars ready!!!
2015, Bring it on …